Investigations of a Turtle
by Zokusho
Summary: Written for the 23rd challenge of Mostly Lucky Star Forum. The theme was "Turtles". And a certain turtle lives in Sakuragaoka Girl's High School...


**Challenge Entry 23: Investigations of a Turtle**

Written for the 23rd Challenge of Mostly Lucky Star Forum. The theme was "turtles". This is from a point of view, and mostly written in present tense, so it's a bit different from most of my fics.

* * *

"I am Charettochelys insculpta," I said. Not that I really talk, I just pretend. A few small bubbles come out of my mouth as I attempted to talk. Lazily, I float to the surface of the tank and take a breath, though I didn't really need more air yet.

Anyway, that's just my scientific name. I'm also called New Guinean Pig-Nosed Turtle. Or Hog-nosed Turtle, or Fly River Turtle. But my real name is Ton-chan. Or not, that's only what those mammal girls call me. I kind of like them, though they are of different species. These homos, I mean Homo sapiens, are very different from us reptiles. For example, they are gregarious. They actually need other turtles – I mean, mammals – around them. I don't mind being alone in this tank at all. It's nice and private. I don't exactly fancy the idea of mating and laying eggs. And if I do, there's plenty of time. I'll live much longer than these girls.

So, for now, I just observe them. It's often amusing. I know them well, and I'm much smarter than them, so I can almost read their thoughts. They are not that complex creatures, after all.

Today, the airhead, Yui Hirasawa, came in surprisingly early. She stubbed her toe on the doorstep, put her bag and guitar away, into the closet in fact, which was unusual. She came to greet me, leaving a greasy mark onto the glass as she bumped her nose by accident. Then, she giggled and hid behind the sofa. Yui is actually not the first here today, and she's not the first who is hiding, but I didn't tell her. Not that I could tell her anyway.

The smallest of them is called Azu-Nyan. Or Azusa Nakano. The nickname was given by the airhead. I guess Yui is hiding because she wants to ambush this Azu-Nyan. I don't mean what us turtles do with our prey; I'm pretty sure Yui doesn't intend to kill and eat Azu-Nyan. Well, not to kill her, at least. Not sure about the latter, considering what she – oh, I can sense vibrations. Judging from what those footsteps feel like, that's Azusa, little Azu-Nyan, behind the door.

And indeed it is. Azusa Nakano opens the door cautiously, and peeks in before entering. "Nobody's here yet!" she groans. Amazingly, she doesn't notice Yui hiding behind the sofa. She puts her bag away and sighs deeply. "I guess they are busy with their studies … I hope they are busy with their studies!" she mutters.

Oh? She isn't taking her guitar out? And she stands at the window, clearing her throat. Ah, this will be the special song! I have only heard it once or twice before. She made it herself, I think. It's got particularly embarrassing lyrics. The song is about someone special to Azusa. A person with a hair clip. Who never seems to take things seriously, is always lazy, but so lovable, warm and fluffy. Azusa rehearses this only when there's nobody else listening. Except for me; she doesn't know that I hear and understand everything.

While Azusa is singing the first verse, Yui crawls up and approaches the unsuspecting junior from behind. Should I warn her? Though, I don't know how I could. Besides, it's funnier to just watch what happens.

" – your hairclip flashing in the sun – EEEEEEEEEEK!" Azusa sings. Not that the scream was part of the song. She screams because she feels soft, warm, and undoubtedly slimy lips on the side of her neck. Also, Yui has wrapped her both arms around Azusa and is, accidentally or not, cupping both of her breasts.

Azusa's knees buckle and she leans onto the windowsill. Yui munches on her neck like a vampire, except she seems to use her tongue instead of her teeth. "Azu-Nyan!" she mumbles. "You're delicious! Omnomnomnomnomnom…" she mumbles against her neck.

Azu-Nyan whimpers and squirms, then her knees give away and she staggers backwards and falls. They end up on the sofa, Azusa on top, and Yui still clinging onto the younger girl. A bit like an octopus clinging onto prey.

"Yui-senpai! Please stop!" Azusa pleads.

It requires a couple of bumps on Yui's head from Azusa's fist, before she gives up.

"Ohh, Azu-Nyan!" Yui sighs, her eyes closed, and a content look on her face.

"Stop scaring me like that, senpai," Azusa groans. I can sense what she's really thinking: _"Thank god the idiot didn't notice what I was singing!"_

She isn't that lucky. Yui opens her eyes and asks, "What was that song, anyway? Are you making your own songs? I want to hear all of them! Let's play it together! Could you teach me how to play it?"

"No!" Azusa yells. "No, I mean … it's not ready! And it's embarrassing! My songs are so bad compared to yours –"

"But Azu-Nyan is so delicious!" Yui interrupts. "So Azu-Nyan's songs must be delicious too!"

"That doesn't make sense, Yui-senpai…" Azusa sighs.

Fortunately Yui's attention span is short. Really short. And since she talked about food – kind of – her stomach grumbles. "Anyway, where's everyone? Where's Mugi? I need tea and cake!"

"I haven't seen Mugi-senpai all day," Azusa says. "I saw her near the teachers' lounge earlier. Maybe we should go and find her?"

"And we can spy on her and listen to what she's discussing with Sawa-chan-sensei!" Yui says excitedly, and stands up, going towards the door already.

Azusa follows her. "We shouldn't do that …" she sighs.

They both leave the room and go downstairs.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

I glance at the top of the cupboard. _She_ is not moving. Probably she's waiting for the next pair. They are very late today. But now I can hear them on the stairs. Apparently they didn't meet Yui and Azusa on the way? Otherwise all four would be coming back together. Well, more interesting this way. I'll get to see what Ritsu Tainaka and Mio Akiyama do when they are alone together. I have seen them a few times. There's been obvious development this year, and not just in Mio's mammary glands. They've became increasingly blushing and flinching and falling into awkward silences.

"…and who to show to your parents," I heard Ritsu ending her sentence just as she opened the door and she enters the Music Club room.

"That's just too weird! I won't make such a list! Where do you get these crazy ideas from?" Mio, walking behind her best friend, groans.

Ritsu throws her bag so that it slides along the floor and ends up beside the couch. "Okay, I'll start. Hm … Ui as a wife –"

"Ui!" Mio interrupts. "You would marry Ui?"

Ritsu grins at Mio. "Why do you look so disappointed?"

"I don't!"

"Besides, let me finish. So, Ui as a wife, you as a sex toy, Yui as a best friend, and Mugi to show to your parents," Ritsu lists.

Mio hits her so fast that I can barely see her hand moving. Ritsu collapses onto the floor, moaning and holding the top of her head with both hands. "Oww-oww! That was way too hard! I think you broke my skull!"

"You deserve it for naming me your s-se-se-se –" Mio is now red as a tomato and so flustered that she stutters.

A couple of minutes later, Ritsu is lying on the sofa with an ice bag on her head. Mio, who has calmed down and looks apologetic, is sitting sideways beside her as she adjusts the ice bag. "I guess I really did hit you a bit too hard. Your skull isn't broken, though!"

"Yeah, it really hurts. I have a pounding headache. And it really stings there, where you broke the skin!" Ritsu moans.

"I already said I'm sorry!"

"In retribution, I demand that you make the list as well."

"Me? Th-that list! I –" Mio changes color instantly and starts to stutter again.

"If you don't, I'll start selling copies of the Cleavage Photo."

Oh. So she has taken a photograph of her mammal parts. Doesn't interest me, but for mammals, those parts seem to be extra important. Especially young female mammals seem really concerned about the size. I already know that Mio has large mammary glands and the others are jealous of them, yet strangely attracted. Maybe it's kind of like a big and thick shell, which is a sign of a virile turtle.

"Y-you wouldn't dare!" Mio gasps.

"The list?" Ritsu asks, and opens her eyes slightly, staring at Mio.

"Uh, I, well … M-Mugi as a wife –"

"I am disappoint," Ritsu mutters.

"As a sex toy –"

"Who? What did you say?"

"I didn't say any name! How could I choos … say s-something like that!" Mio groans, and stomps her foot.

"Okay, let's skip that for now. The rest?"

"I-I don't know why I would even say this, but y-you as a b-best f-friend … Mugi to show to your parents –"

"No, you can't use Mugi again. You already said you'd marry her."

"I don't want to marry Mugi – I mean, I-I …" Mio gasps.

Suddenly Ritsu throws her hands around Mio's neck and tries to pull her close. Mio loses her balance and slips, falling onto the floor – with Ritsu landing on top of her. Both of them turn bright red and their eyes pop wide open. Neither of them seems to dare to move.

After a very long, awkward silence, Ritsu whispers, "So whom do you want to marry?"

"I'm just a high school student," Mio groans.

"You already said you didn't want to marry Mugi. So you have someone in mind."

"No, of course not! Let me go!" Mio yells.

But Ritsu grabs her wrists and holds her down. This causes their faces to get really close, and their bodies get pressed together very tightly.

"I'm not letting you go until you complete the list."

"No!" Mio shouts, and struggles violently, and only with great difficulty Ritsu is able to keep her subdued.

"Stop struggling or I'll kiss you!" Ritsu finally hisses. So that was the only thing she could think of right now?

Immediately, Mio goes completely limp and stares at Ritsu. After a second or two, she struggles again, but much more weakly. Ritsu looks strange as well. Probably they can feel their hearts beating against each others' chests. She's also trembling a bit now.

"You … want to be kissed?" Ritsu whispers.

Mio closes her eyes. She's blushing brighter than ever. And then she makes a very little, shy nod. I nearly miss it.

That has a profound effect on Ritsu. She blushes at least as brightly as Mio. Then, slowly, she lowers her face down. Mio isn't resisting at all. Due to the angle, I can't see their lips touching. Seems they really take their time. Is this their first kiss? Probably. I can sense their hearts pounding. Strange things, these mammals. They view oral contact as somehow special.

Now she raises her head again. Mio is staring at the ceiling. Strangely, she isn't blushing anymore. She's more like, pale now. Ritsu still sits on top of her, staring at her. Takes a full minute or two before they do anything else.

"What did you just do," Mio whispers.

"Y-you asked me to!" Ritsu groans back.

"No! I mean, yes … I know! But I just … y-you took mine … my first … my …"

Mio pushes her away and clambers up. Ritsu staggers backwards, looking both scared and happy like honeybees. A strange expression, by the way. I don't think honeybees are ever particularly happy. The one that fell into my tank the other day –

Oh, now Mio is running towards the door. Blindly. Almost bangs her head against it. I can hear her running downstairs. Hope she doesn't fall on the stairs. It takes a few seconds for Ritsu to react. She runs after her, of course.

Ah well. They left their bags and stuff here. They'll be back after they make up. Or make out, even. Ha ha. Mio is acting as if she lost her virginity. Another thing peculiar to these mammal girls. Lots of worry over a piece of membrane in their body. I think this thing is called "the first kiss". They fuss a lot over their first mouth-to-mouth contact with another mammal.

デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ

After the door closed, Tsumugi Kotobuki, who had all this time been hiding on top of the cupboard and watching – just like me – climbs down onto the floor.

She is pale, her nose is bleeding, and her eyes are bloodshot, because she had been crying. Yeah, another of the peculiarities of the species. Their eyes exude water when they get emotional. I already know that this one craves to see other girls mating, yet she gets upset when they do.

I can sense another person at the door. That's the teacher, Sawako Yamanaka, who always comes here for tea. She barges in, mutters, "My feet are killing me!" and slumps down onto the sofa, completely ignoring the girl on the floor.

It takes her a couple of minutes to notice. "Tsumugi-kun, what are you doing on the floor? Shouldn't you be making tea? And what's today's cake?"

Mugi-chan doesn't answer at first. Weakly, she raises her head and says, "Sorry, Sawa-chan-sensei … I-I will put the kettle on …"

Sawako turns her head and looks. "You've been crying. Come to mama and tell me all about it."

Mugi-chan goes to Sawako, and snuggles onto her lap. Sawako's eyes pop up but she doesn't resist. Instead, she gently pats Mugi-chan's head and wraps an arm around her.

The younger girl moans, "All the others have someone! I'm forever alone…"

"Well, you're not alone now," Sawako notes. "Oh, you naughty girl!" she then gasps.

Surprised, Mugi-chan raises her head.

"You've had a nosebleed. Filthy thoughs? You should be spanked," Sawako coos.

"Uh, yes, sensei! I'm a naughty girl … please do spank me …" Mugi-chan sighs and snuggles even closer to her teacher.

Doesn't look they are mating quite like the other two pairs, not yet at least. They're just pressing their bodies together. Mammals seem to have a need to touch each others' bodies a lot, even if they are not mating. And exude water from their eyes. Looks like snuggling is all those two will be doing for a while. Boring.

So that's that. What's strange is that all these are _females_. So they can't reproduce. Yet they are mating. Their eggs will be infertile. I don't really see the point.

Anyway, that was enough excitement for me for today. Rarely gets boring, here. Maybe even a bit too busy for a turtle like me, perhaps. I wouldn't mind a week of two of nothing happening. Well, at least they leave me alone for the nights.

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No more chapters coming up. Just a silly one-shot, this was.

I'm not yet very good at making up lyrics in English (heck, it's not my native language!), so you'll have to imagine the words of Azusa's Yui Song.


End file.
